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The difference we make.

It is difficult to show in terms of evidence, "the difference we make", but I've have been given permission by 'M' to tell her story, as a way of showing it.

She rang first, because in her own words," It's easier to talk behind a screen, the main thing and the hardest thing, is to talk."

'M' is a 39 year old mother of 3, originally living in Devon. She was sexually abused as a child, by a paedophile group, the shame and guilt had affected every part of her life. It had always made it so difficult to talk about anything connected to it, that as years went by the she suffered from the many problems and behaviours that are a result of abuse. She was clinically depressed and suicidal, but the only thing that kept her going was the thought of her children without a mother. Eventually her marriage broke down and she decided that she needed to talk to someone about it.

At first, she found she could not find the courage to do it face to face, so she rang our helpline. The anonymity afforded by the line was the reason she felt she could tell at last. It was her first proper disclosure and also her first experience of being really believed, and truly heard by someone. It was so powerful; it quickly gave her the strength to move on in her journey.

Her next step was telephone counselling, which again felt safer, as she didn't have to face anyone. We were able to offer her this service free, and together with no travel expenses to find, it made it easier for a single mother to access. But eventually the day came when she felt ready to take the huge step of talking to a counsellor face to face.

For this service we had to charge her, but we were able to keep the cost low enough that she could manage it. From this point she went from strength to strength. She made many big decisions about her life and the changes she wanted, one of them was to move out of the area. For this reason she went back to telephone counselling, but not backwards on her journey.

In fact, she, along with a fellow survivor has set up their own safe website to support other survivors of sexual abuse. To support and listen to them until they are ready to talk. They have had their 'story' written up in local newspapers and are now in talks with a national magazine. Their next plan is to set up a support group in their local area for survivors.

The reason I tell this particular story, and there are many, is that, 'M' herself, credits the line for initially giving her the strength to report her attacker to the police. But most important, she says she would never have had the courage to begin her journey, if she had not been able to talk to someone anonymously, without judgement and be believed. That is more powerful than we know.

We are no longer able to offer a counselling service at this time.